* Dear Lawyers from the Mars Confectionary Company

I know I have pirated your company's trademarks by creating the Yarrs Bar parody.  I am doing this in the spirit of parody, and not because I want to harm the company that hired you to defend their IP.  As a marketer, I understand the value of trademarks, brands and the commercial realities of the marketplace.

I also understand that a large confectionary company suing a small time single site operator for a parody is bad publicity for that company.  I would far rather avoid that happening to your firm. So, I am disclaiming any and all claims to any form of copyright over the Yarrs material, and I'm hoping that you, as a lawyer, can talk to me, as a marketer, and we can see to it that no harm befalls your client's good name in the community.

If you're not happy with the use of the materials, drop me an e-mail. A real e-mail, not a form letter, not a cease and desist, but an actual person talking to an actual person, and we'll sort things out quietly, peacefully, and to the benefit of your organisation.  Which, basically, is what you've been hired to do, so let's make it easy on all of us.

Yours sincerely

Dr Stephen Dann.

Freelance Academic